She said “this is for you, it’s a ‘thoughts book’…you can write anything you like in it”. So I did.
Blogging is cathartic. I’ve started and I can’t stop because each time I do it feels good (every person and every behaviour has the potential for addiction – brief occupational add in). It’s not about readers or likes. In fact I’m quite comfortable with Doug Shaw’s philosophy of writing for the bin. It’s the motivation to write that comes from a need to express. Or is it that simple?
When you blog, do you write for the bin? Do you consider your audience? Or those you desire for your audience? Do you write with abandon? Do you think about your employer, customers, potential employers, friends, family and what they might think? Are you brave? Safe? Indifferent?
These are questions I’m considering as I write with awareness of the discomfort in my gut with what I am trying to articulate. I need to get used to this. Yet I know my blog won’t be provocative. I won’t let it. This discomfort is only within me. Not you. I’ll attempt to manage and express with caution. I wonder then if the intended expression will actually emerge. Evocation of empathy – is that the intention of expression? Can we truly write for the bin? Does something exist after you’ve written it down? Victor Frankl encourages me to question what purpose explanation serves. Does it benefit me, or you?
It’s not that Tigger is annoying nor does he wear me out. Although I’ve never much cared for cartoons. It’s just, I’m looking for genuine connection. Because that’s what humans do. When I meet one, that’s all I’m after. That’s where the magic happens: trust, rapport, authenticity, relationship …and what’s comes from this.
Happiness is a verb, and a choice. But it doesn’t come in a one size box of over enthusiasm, squeals, whoops and bounciness. Or running commentary on the world with a undercurrent of desperation for acceptance.
Yes ok, so it’s one of Ekman’s 6 universals – but that’s the smile right. A significant non-verbal with crows-feet and other micro-expressions our brain perceives holistically so we can quickly interpret each other’s mood. Rather than a non-efficient pause and consideration of ‘hmm well the eye lid here is slightly raised, along with the eyebrow relaxed at this edge, simultaneously the high cheek muscle is tensed at these micro points…so yes I think we have a safe smile’.
So if this is your ‘positive psychology’ I wonder what is the point? Loosen your grip on the buzz words and read…’for the love of books’!
Tiggering-up undermines the strength behind the beautiful reaching ideas. Your ego is in the way of your character. Your character is in the way of you. No one expects more than YOU. You’re good enough and I hope you see that. You do not need to be defined by your body, gender, nor how ‘good looking’ or ‘not good looking’ you are.
I will not be dumbed-down to. I refused to reduce my ability to limbic-ally infuse others, with an over enthusiastic burst of none authentic energy, when energies are colourful and worth their weigh in gold. And emotionally intelligent enthusiasm is a welcome infection.
Do you ever start reading a book that makes you think and feel right from the off so much that you consider if you’re over indulging and you want to be shut away in a cosy room with a log fire and a huge enveloping chair and a cuppa Yorkshire tea in your oversize mug, because you need to feel safe while you allow it to blow your mind, and then you come across a sentence or two that hits you right where you were just lost in thought. And it found you there.