Sometimes, if you’re really unlucky surreal things happen. But they’re actually real because they’re actually happening. To you, not somebody else.
But what has surprised me the most over the past few months is the overwhelming amount of love from you. At a time when I didn’t actually realise you were there. That all that love was available without costing me anything. I never knew that at my darkest, when I couldn’t access my self-compassion or strength, you would be there to access it for me, reminding me it was still there, waiting.
Your love has blown me away whilst quite literally holding me down and keeping me up. Each day, and each week, more conversations, cups of tea, and you continue to amaze me with your patience and kindness whilst I had nothing to give. When you know that’s not my style.
Thank you. For those hugs that last longer than 5 seconds, for your arms around me, for getting drunk with me, for hanging with me after, for talking, for just sitting, for laughing, for cooking for me, for the walks, for the laughter, for getting me ‘dressed up and out’, for watching rubbish films and shit TV, for a flask of tea, for reflexology, for listening, for not judging, for trusting, for believing in me, for knowing me, for looking at me like you always have and not differently, for aromatherapy, for a poetry book.
I will be forever grateful and appreciative of you. And I somehow hope the path we tread and how we chose to be with and for others boomerangs right back.
Jo Wainwright 
Thank you Jo for posting this. One of my friend has lost her eldest daughter. Since then she feels she is living her grieving alone. People at work are pleased to come and see her to share their problems but not to ask how she feels. Not that they don’t care but I have sometimes the feeling that people are scared of not knowing what to say, or even being prying. But your testimony demonstrates that what is important is to be there, just be there. No matter if we know someone well enough or not, when they are touched by tough time, we are too. Because it could happen to any of us. So taking some time to be with them, is not so much and it makes all the difference. I didn’t know you were going through difficult time. I wish you all the best and am looking forward to seeing you soon at one L&D event.
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Hello. I’m glad you found the blog of interest and useful.
Luckily for me I’m past the tough(est) bits. Being able to blog it is a sure sign my thoughts are more ordered.
Totally agree. Being there without needing to give or get, just being ok with not being ok. I hope your friend has more people around (and I know only need a few) who have the capacity to do that as well as you.
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